Perfect Imperfections

I apologize on behalf of my gender and for my own personal hand in what you have become. When we first met I was satisfied just talking to you, but then I became caught up in the superficiality of society and began to critique the things that made you unique to the shallowness that consumed the world. I challenged your "natural look" because of a woman I once saw on a video. I insulted your personality because I was insecure about my own. I diminished your self-esteem because mine was nonexistent. I shut down your dreams because mine were not being realized.......... I tried to destroy your fundamental nature because I was threatened by you. I assisted in the demise of your confidence because I didn’t call you beautiful when you woke up in the morning. I perpetuated a pseudo-standard of perfection because I insulted your beauty by over-exaggerating unattainable perfections……

But you no longer have to remind yourself to attach all the burdens that society calls good-looking; hiding everything that I love about you. You no longer have to “make-up” yourself to tell yourself that you’re stunning; hiding your imperfections with a mask.
So take it off! Shed it, erase it, wash it away, destroy it, let it go, pull it out, cut it! Release yourself of those chains that continue to bind you; shackles that are chain-linked by ostentation and triviality. Burn them all! For all these things LIMIT my time with you. I want to see YOU

I found myself thinking about the things I’d miss if you weren’t here. So I made a list…..
When I miss you, it won’t be those qualities that you developed because I told you that's what I liked that I will remember. It’ll be those natural inclinations you have that allow you to make the best decisions.

What I will sincerely miss is not the way your hair falls from the perm you recently paid for. What I will sincerely miss is not how your face looks once you've spent hours in the bathroom making yourself "beautiful". What I will sincerely miss is not the way your eye sparkled when you put in your green contacts that you love so much. What I will sincerely miss is not the perfume you wear to mask the natural aroma of your femininity.

What I will miss are the scars that you received from the childhood games you played with family. What I will miss is the way you covered up yourself when I pulled back the shower curtain to see you just as you are, yet you felt the need to cover up because you hadn't shaved yet. What I will miss is the nervous giggle you had whenever you were embarrassed by something you said incorrectly.

See, once I get passed my immaturity and superficiality, I will definitely appreciate your imperfections because who you are is beautiful in spite of me. To me, your imperfections are what make you perfect. It is those things that make you uniquely you and for me, there will never be a replication. I now acknowledge your innocence and appreciate your frailties. I now see you fallibilities as omissions of being human. I now understand and value your essence.

But unfortunately, it’s too late….. You died a few weeks ago.